01 August 2012

days and years..

rubes was in bed (and fast asleep) at 8:01 tonight. by 8:06 i was taking a shower in the first chance i had for the day, but despite that i really feel like we hit our stride today. please tell me that i'm not the only person who's been in this parenting game for (more than) three years and still has a heap ton of areas that we just haven't settled into yet. even "simple" ones like this.. a working schedule that makes for a mostly agreeable child and a mama who doesn't collapse into a puddle on the couch at the end of the day. 
yesterday, on the other hand, was not a stride kind of day. if anything, it was an are-you-trying-to-kill-me-can-we-both-just-go-back-to-bed-and-wake-up-when-it's-tomorrow kind of day. it was the kind of day where i went in and watched her when she finally went to sleep so that i could chant "the days are long but the years are short" to myself and say prays of thanks for her little self. 
i wish i could remember who it was that first said those words to me because they are without a doubt my parenting life mantra and the words that i share with any other parent who i can tell needs to hear them too (so, all parents, am i right?). 'cause they really really are.. long days, short years. even the days when i feel like we're in our stride.. we still have those moments when i'm repeating myself over and over again or walking in to see a ball of playdoh covered in water on the counter or realizing that ruby is out in the hall talking to our neighbors wearing nothing but socks. things that i'm for sure going to laugh about someday (let's be real, i'm chuckling a little bit typing them now), but that piled together into one afternoon have me taking a deep breath and and wondering "what is she thinking?" (and don't even let me fool you into thinking that was all that went down in the 12 hours she was awake yesterday.. uh hum, cracked ipad screen). 
but then we have those moments.. those redeeming and reassuring little moments when i realize that she really is learning and growing. when she says "ok mommy" instead of talking back, or when i say something once and she takes action. when she's patient, kind, or proactive. when we drive by a church and she says "mommy, that's the cross that jesus died on." those little moments that helps me see that in these long days and short years, we're getting somewhere. we might be getting there at a snail's pace at times, but it's still progress. 
hopefully i'm not the only one who needed that reminder today.


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