29 May 2012

4, 3, 1, and now.

the month of may is kind of a big deal for our little family. it's the month when our wedding happened, the month we become parents for the first time, and the month when we had a baby taken to heaven. i'm listening to this song on repeat while i think about this month and write this, and i feel the tears stinging every time i hear these words..

"you will never forsake or desert us."

i haven't felt like this because of Him in a long time. and you know why? because i do.. i forsake and desert Him. all.the.time. i take His goodness for granted and let life just happen around me instead of thanking Him for it and giving back. i want so badly for that to be a constant in my life, but i'm thankful for the month of may because i have a feeling that it will be just the zap and rustling that i need every year to pull me back in and closer to remembering His goodness, faithfulness, and sustaining. 

there's that stinging again.. when i really allow myself to be quiet and think about where i could should be, but am not because of Him. looking back on how good He was to bring d and i together four years ago, to have given us a sweet baby girl just a short year later, to have carried and comforted us through losing our baby, and to be gracious enough let us be parents again less than six months from now. 

may is good. He is good.





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