09 May 2009
i love the saying "my cup runneth over", and lately that's just how i feel. daniel and i have so much to be thankful for, and often times it's surprising how overwhelmed i can feel with how blessed we are. we're getting very near the day of the one year anniversary of our marriage, and we're also only four weeks away from the expected birthday of sweet little ruby madeline mehaffie. i was just watching some birthing videos online (let me just say- "wow"), and i was getting tears in my eyes during nearly every one once all of the intensity of labor was over and it was showing the babies being handed to the mom and dad for the first time. just seeing it happen to other people is so amazing, yet alone to actually think that in possibly less than or just over a month that will be us... staring at the little girl that we made with God's help. so yes, blessing blessing blessing.
also, when i think about this past year and how it's looked for both d and me as a couple and as individuals learning how to be married i feel so extremely thankful for the ways that i can see God's hand on us. He cares so much about our marriage, and i feel like even within the past month or so i've come to trust in that even more than i imagined i would. it's only been a year and already i can see so many ways that God has stretched and broken things in me that really needed to be... and although i'm surprised to say this too, i know those necessary changes only happened because He put in daniel's heart for us to move across country only days after we were married. now, don't think that's been the cry of my heart all this time... even six months ago i would have packed up and zipped back across the country before you could say "go", but i'm so amazed at how God has given me glimpses of His purpose in a year so full of transition. i'm sure that over the rest of our marriage i'll see even more, but i truly think He knows that my heart needed those little insights into what He's been doing to help me know it hasn't been challenging and testing on us for no reason. i don't want to go into a mush fest, but i have had moments of sheer amazement lately at just how wonderful my husband is. now, maybe this has to do with all of the hormones pulsing through me during this pregnancy, but let's not chalk it up to that. :) really though... it's not like i've never seen the good in daniel, but i think i was so wrapped up in emotion, transition, and in many ways selfishness during the start of our marriage that i didn't take the time to take in how great a man he is. my eyes are welling up just thinking about it, but as another way that i'm blessed i just had to at least give some props to God for matching me with this man that in so many ways i do not deserve. ok. shew. next topic. :)
we've also been so amazed by the generosity and love that we've experienced from the people around us when it comes to having ruby on the way. she is our little surprise baby, and i can't tell you how much i cried thinking about how not ready we were when i first realized i was pregnant. God let me have that fit, of course, but He's proven himself through so many people who don't even realize that He was using them to bless us. i'm not even sure we could have prepared ourselves for how many people were going to give of themselves and what they have because they love us. so, if you're reading this and you have, thank you again. :)
well, bottom line, i'm so thankful. even more than that, i'm looking forward to the times when we're trying to figure big things out again or when ruby is screaming her head off and pooping everywhere or whatever else is coming and i can look back and think, "Ok, He's got us."
straight from ALINNA