dad's day..

since ruby loves her daddy so much, it was only natural for her to make him a little something for their second father's day together. somehow i was able to paint her hands and pry her fingers out straight for long enough to get these sweet little one year old hands prints on the blank side of a grits box. my especially favorite part is the pink heart made from her two little thumbs prints. insert "aww" {here}.

ruby is the sweetest girl, and i can't really express how much i look forward to seeing her and her daddy grow closer over the years to come. for many reasons, father's day has never really been a day that i looked forward to with joy or expectation.. seeing daniel as a dad has changed that for me, and i am so thankful. my heart feels hopeful because of how different i know ruby's relationship with her daddy will be than mine was.. not only hopeful for her and for myself, but also for others in my life who i know have a less than ideal view of what a father looks like. i feel very blessed in that hope, because it gives me assurance that history does not have to repeat itself and that our children can have blessings where we had only curses. sounds super spiritual, perhaps, but it's exactly how i feel.

thank you, daniel, for being a part of that hope. <3

i love..

the end of a (somewhat) productive day. our very peaceful apartment after a sweet baby is put to bed without a peep. a little time to myself. knowing that a lovely man will be walking through the door so soon.

a trip..

i had this conversation with a woman at harris teeter tonight..

i was waiting in the checkout line with ruby and a 50ish year old woman was standing at the end of the lines looking at magazines.

suddenly, she strikes up a conversation.

lady- excuse me.

me- yes?

lady- do you happen to be wealthy and european?

me- no, why?

lady- well, this magazine (showing me this month's issues of vogue) is full of stories about wealthy europeans living ridiculous lifestyles in big homes and with their fancy things. is that something you'd be interested in?

me- well, no, not really.

lady- (pointing at ruby) is that a boy or a girl?

me- she's a girl.

lady- oh, why doesn't she have any hair?

me- (smiling all the while) i'm not sure.

lady- can she walk yet?

me- yea, she can walk.

lady- well, i guess she can't read yet, can she?

me- no, she can't read.

lady- i guess you're not interested in trying to teach her (again, extending the vogue magazine).

me- haha well, no, not with that at least.

lady- oh, well bye.

me- bye. :)

people are funny (and strange). i kind of wish i had interactions like this daily.

nostaglia..

i spent a few days in boone this past weekend, and although the trip was great overall, i have to say that it was filled with some mixed emotions. more than anything i realized that, at this point in my life, nostalgia is among my least favorite emotions. although it was nice in some ways to spend time driving and walking around town and campus reminiscing, i also felt a lot of sadness. more than missing college itself i felt a tangible loss for the way relationships were during that part of my life.. how truly involved and connected i was with the people closest to me.. i think i felt more known in college than i really have since then. i mean, since leaving boone i haven't lived in one place for longer than a year.. so, by the time i've gotten close to that comfortable, transparent, connected point in relationships outside of my family, i'm gone. i guess in the midst of this i'm realizing more and more just how vital community is to me.. to know and be known by people and to share life. i'm not a "spread myself thin" kind of friend.. it takes time for me to show someone who i am, and at times i think i keep myself from doing so if i fear that the effort that it takes will end up being in vain. i'm not saying that this is a good trait to have all around, but i am thankful that i put care and concern into the relationships i have instead of giving parts of myself to anyone who's might show a bit of interest at the moment. anyway, all of that to say that i'm definitely aware of the fact that i haven't yet come down off of the transition rollercoaster.. although we've been "settled" here in north carolina for close to a year, i'm still feeling the effects of all that's gone on in life in the past few years. man, life is quite a process, huh?

on the brighter side, there is a lot lot lot that i'm so thankful for in life right now. for one, my sister is moving to raleigh in a little over a month, and that is a season that i am looking forward to like crazy. also, d and i are definitely spending more time with friends and family lately; which is a blessing in so many ways. i was thinking the other day that a specific way i feel like i can pinpoint the Lord directly answering prayer in my life is when it comes to relationships.. i'm experiencing that right now, and i really believe that he knows when and how the cries of my heart need to be answered in that area. so, although i definitely miss how things have been as far as certain relationships in the past, i have hope and excitement about what's coming. i'm also thankful for times that i've had recently when i've been able to look back at the yearish that we spent in california with fondness and have been able to clearly see some of the purpose that God had for having us there... yes, very thankful for that. and of course, i am so thankful for our sweet little rubes.. she is nothing short of a blessing and literally does something daily that either melts my heart, cracks me up, or highlights an area in which i really need some work.. how can a kid do all of that?? it's pretty neat.

thanks for being interested in things i have to say.. this was a bit of a ramble, but i'm glad i got it out. happy wednesday. :)

oh the things you can find on google images.

pass it on..

i read this post today on a blog that i follow.. she relates parenthood to gardening, and since i really enjoyed what she had to say, i wanted to pass it on. obviously, child-rearing is something on my mind these days because, well, i have a child. ruby's recently come into an age where it's obvious that she is learning right from wrong, and along with that, learning how to be disobedient. i have to say that the thought of the years ahead of raising, disciplining, teaching, correcting, and guiding her are daunting to me.. i can't believe i have the future of another human being in my hands. on the other hand, it's something i'm looking forward to because i know that i will learn so much.. about myself, about her, about my husband, about others around me.. and i'm hoping that she will be patient with me, and that some day she will look back on our life together and see that we did the best we possibly could.

treats..

i'm very excited to be going to see this musical tonight at the durham performing arts center.. it's pretty much the only plus that's coming out of my mom and dad-in-love being away for the summer. it's going to be magical.

and in less than a month i will be going to see this man..

with my man as a belated anniversary outing. oh, michael buble.. you are so dreamy. he's coming to raleigh, so you should go see him too.. tickets here.

awesome.

my friend becky shared this site, 1000 awesome things, with me today, and i had to share it with you. i felt happy, convicted, and inspired all at once while reading it. pretty much all day today i've felt the opposite of awesome. i just had one of those days when i felt cooped up and kind of pathetic about life. perhaps i was throwing myself a mini pity party all day.. thinking that life just doesn't really look at all like what i thought it would looking forward a few years ago (does that make sense?).. sometimes things just seem mundane. like i live day to day doing pretty much the same thing over and over.. and that even knowing that, i don't do much to change it. don't you ever just feel tired? like on another level tired? well, i felt that way today.. and then i read thing after little thing on this blog that made me smile and think, alinna, get over yourself, so much is awesome about life. just having life is awesome. so, i have a new goal (along with reading through the bible; which i'm happy to share is still happening).. i bought a notebook at target today just because it was 50 cents, but had no plan for it (yes, i am that much of a sucker for a clearance item).. so, my goal is to write down at least five things a day that are awesome and that i'm thankful for. i like this plan.

i also have to share that i typed "life is awesome" into google images and this picture came up.. what's funny is that after clicking on it, it turns out that it's actually from the 1000 awesome things site.. awesome example of life's awesomeness. :)