settling..

well, we're here.. we have now been indiana residents for one week and one day! kind of crazy. i can't say that it's been the easiest transition, but when is transition really all that easy? please tell me i'm not the only one who has a hard time with it?! i was so thankful to have my mom here for the first few days after we got here. it was great to get a lot of unpacking done while she had time with ruby, and having a little time in the city (chicago) on monday was a good break from setting up the apartment. it was hard to say goodbye to her at the airport on tuesday, and i felt like we jumped right into the nitty gritty of life as d and i drove home talking about expectations and how we'd like our life to look in this new state. as hard as it can sometimes be in marriage to iron out things like that, i'm continually thankful for a husband who desires good things for our family and works hard for us.. and who will sit in the car comforting and listening to me cry and vent for over an hour. :) 

i'm having an especially hard time being away from raleigh considering what all is going on with my mom-in-love after a serious car accident she had just a few days after us moving here. more than anything, it's been a time for me to truly exercise the faith that i have in the Lord to control a situation without my help. i know, what kind of crazy person thinks they can do more than God? um, me. :) really though, i feel so powerless up here, but i'm doing my best to trust the support she has from the rest of our family and to believe that there is power in the prayers that i'm constantly speaking for her. 

as hard as they are, i'm doing my best to thank the Lord daily for times like these when i'm thrown into the fire.. being refined to rely on Him fully even when i'm not completely sure how. i literally cannot look at these situations and fully see what He will do with them. i realize that daniel being able to give us a better financial footing and being shown favor in his job are blessings in themselves, but i need for there to be something greater for us here than that. something eternal. so, i'm trusting God that he has that in the works, and i'm seeking him for whatever it might be. and although i don't think that he caused this pain to come upon sharon, i am remaining confident that He can and will use it for good, and i'm asking Him to reveal what that good is in His own time. i keep feeling comforted and affirmed by this part of scripture that sharon shared with me right before we moved to indy..

 "Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray.

Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on land. He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water..."

Jesus sent them out knowing it would be hard.. He knew the waves would be against them, but He was watching.. and as soon as he saw that it was more than they could handle on their own, He came to them. i don't even know what more there is to be said about it.. what a comfort.

{via}