18 February 2012

home to me..

life is resuming normalcy after our arrival back to the great state of indiana on thursday afternoon. i told d over dinner that night that the weirdest thing about being away from home for so long is that, once we're back, it feels like we never left. i'm so glad it feels like that. even though i almost constantly miss our friends and family who don't live here, it amazes me just how much my heart and home are in whatever little apartment in whatever little town i live in with daniel and ruby.. i'm so thankful for that, and was reminded of it so much over this time apart. 
i told daniel that my love for him was rekindled during the first part of our vacation; while he was able to be with me and ruby for a little time in NC. there was something so comforting about that long, through the night drive with he and rubes sleeping as i maneuvered through winding west virginia roads.. seeing him feel so at ease with my family, and knowing that i feel just the same with his.. knowing it was a priority for him to make a date night with me before he left to go back to indiana..  feeling connected by long talks about our hopes and questions about our next moves in life.. reminiscing, once we were apart again, about our dating days, and writing him a love note to remind him of the things i'm thankful for.
sometimes i linger more in the "hard truths" of what marriage looks like.. i never want to give the impression that being married or having kids in the fix all for life's worries or loneliness, or to ever make it easier than it already is for anyone who reads what i write here to play the comparison game. i don't want to paint some picture that isn't accurate or fool anyone into thinking we've got much, if anything, worth striving for. but sometimes i think i take away from His goodness and grace toward us when i don't give credit and shed light on the ways that i'm more than thankful for the husband i have and the life i'm blessed with. intermixed in that sharing will be mentions of the reality and realness that this cleaving together brings, but i hope that that shows all the more that the Lord should receive the glory for any good that comes from or to us. i am a broken, broken girl who's stepped into the role of wife and mama, and i rejoice in the moments when all that's swirling around us slows long enough for us to taste and see that He is good.. like sun rays splitting through a darkening sky.
that's what this trip felt like for me.. a time to revel in thankfulness for the people we love who are sprinkled near and far, but to fall back into the comfort of knowing that He's fit me with a good man and sweet little girl who are home to me.


Mindy said...

You are sweet. :)

Mom Mehaffie said...

I loved reading this! It made me smile!

melissa said...

you write like someone would paint xo

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