The BIG Picture

Ever since I was a little boy, I have always wanted to know the "plan." When we took family vacations I eagerly wanted to know when and where we were going to stop along the way. When plans were altered I would not be a "happy camper", as they say. Which brings up another point about me: I am moody and can be cranky as well. We'll save that for another blog as I haven't yet realized anything revolutionary from being moody. Back to knowing the plan, God continues to tell, or rather show me He's the one with the plan.

I recently had a couple job interviews which I did not get. I thought God was opening a door for me to get a better job so that I might be able to better provide for my wife and child. Not getting job after job, I was questioning God's plan for my life and wondering if there was any rhyme or reason. Idiot. This is a perfect picture of how little we see of His big picture. He is the potter that etches away at us, the clay, to make us into the people he ultimately wants us to be. He shapes and redirects me through trials. I can picture him molding and shaping me into something so beautiful. I put "ugly" or impurities upon his attempt at creating this perfect image by sinning and not following the will he has laid upon my life. He is the perfecter of the image I have stained. He is trying to move me in the right direction by chiseling away at my creation. My trials hurt as He painfully chisels my body, although this pain is what grows me. I hopefully become a better person because of his blows against my body. I love coming to the realization of his blows and seeing that they are meant for good. I see why he doesn't want me to have the jobs I've applied for. I wondered, if he were a good God, why would he not want to allow me to get a job that will enable me to provide for my wife and child? I now see that he wants me to be a stay-at-home dad. If only he would have shown me earlier. (Just kidding about the last part.)

God's timing is perfect. God blessing Alinna and me with a little girl right now couldn't have been more perfect. Looking back at the past year, it makes sense. I can't see what's going on with job stuff, but I know that Alinna and I have endured so much during our first year of marriage that Ruby is going to be our little gift at the one year anniversary of our marriage. I can't really find the words to say to express how all the transition thus far in marriage has led us to be able to adapt to having a baby. I'll probably write again about this, but for now I encourage every newly married couple to welcome this transitional phase of life with arms wide open.

Going on with job stuff...it has been painful to hear that "I'm not a good fit" for a particular position that I know full well I would rock out, but God has other plans that I need to realize I don't understand right now. I know a year from now we will look back and see the bigger picture for what God had in store for us and it will all make sense. Socrates had it right when he said, "I know that I know nothing." The beauty is that God knows. We must continue to take his blasts on our body/character/lives/etc. as something that is painful for the time being but will hopefully produce righteousness later on, if and only if we follow him and abide by His will.