F O U R.

i loved taking this video of ruby last year when she turned three and, amazingly enough, my mama brain remembered to do it again for four! (also, how is she four?)

throwback to THREE:

FOUR:


i realize on a daily basis that my girl is growing and changing, but things like this really make the strides she takes in just one short year standout like crazy. even just seeing how her answers to some of the questions were things she actually likes and not just nonsense like liking "mexican" for lunch. what a nut.

happy FOURTH, rubes. i hope you read these posts someday and see that we really did our best to cherish your little years. i'll be honest with you, some days with you are straight out of a nightmare, but then there are times when you surprise me with your sweetness. or i remember challenging things that seemed unending that you don't even struggle with anymore, and i realize that you really are growing and changing everyday. you have such a strong little spirit, and i pray very often that daddy and i would be able to steer all of that feistiness and spunk into characteristics that help you to grow into a gracious girl who is kind and strong in all the right ways. we are doing our best to tell you about the Jesus we love so much in ways that you can understand; while also allowing you to ask questions and grasp whatever you can in your tiny mind. i pray that we're doing this as genuinely and gracefully as we know how. you're a great big sister, and i think you'll have a lot to offer sadie as she grows.. let's hope that those offerings stay on the safe and loving side, for the most part.
ruby, you're a beautiful little mess, and i love figuring out life as your mama. here's to making this year even better than the last.

a big (girl) day..

just the other day this peanut surprised me by looking at the earrings i was wearing and saying, "i want to get my ears pierced like you so i can go out of the house." no sure where that thought process came from, but i told her that if she still wanted to on daddy's next day off we could go to the mall and get it done. we talked to her about how it would hurt and her only response was, "that's ok, i'm brave!" 

she was still asking about it today, and didn't even come inside after getting picked up from preschool.. she just yelled at me from the driveway, "you're coming with us to get my ears pierced, right mom?!"

we got to the mall and finally tracked down the piercing pagoda (only after asking the mall security guard who was roaming around.. i'm sure that made him feel really confident in the usefulness of his job). the clerk, kris, was helpful and encouraging of ruby's earring choice - pink hearts, as you would imagine. after she made the marks on ruby's ears and i compulsively checked them for evenness, kris made the first punch. i saw an immediate look of shock and pain on ruby's face and waited for her to cry out and stop the madness before kris could do the other side, but she only tightened her legs' grip around me and sat perfectly still until kris had finished the other ear. i asked her a few times if she was okay, and she nodded but kept quiet and looked up from my shoulder just long enough to accept her red lollipop on our way out the door. i tried to overlook her initial reaction of, "i don't want these anymore", and kept telling her how proud i was of her bravery and follow through on something she decided herself she wanted to do. within the five minute walk to the Disney store, homegirl was jabbering away about what had just happened and saying how excited she was to have earrings. we talked about it for the rest of the night, and i'm still in shock that there were more tears in my eyes than hers. 

this little girl surprises me constantly.. from her positive and fun attitude to her willingness to try new things. she's a gem and is growing and changing before my eyes. i'm trying not to blink, because i know these little years will be over before i know it.

i'm so proud of you, my brave girl. i can't wait for you to read this story when you're older so i can laugh with you and tell you again how surprising you are.

this (not so) glamorous life..

daniel left for work on a rather hectic morning a couple days ago.. ruby zooming around the house, sadie attached to my chest, me still in pajamas with sleep in my eyes, suitcases and the like strewn about the house from us just getting back in town. he gave me a kiss on his way out the door and said, "oh what a life we lead." his statement stuck with me, and i've been mulling it over ever since. you know it was a ground-breaker for me since it has me blogging for the first time since the end of august.. uh hum.

we do not live, as fergie would say, the life of the "glamorous" or the "flossy flossy" (but if you'd like a glimpse of what that supposedly looks like, here's a sneak peek).

i can't tell you much about what's current in fashion right now, how to keep yourself looking youthful and ageless, or even how to keep from getting poop on your hands less than once a day, for that matter. i'm lucky if i get to shower on the daily, and even luckier if anything other than stretchy pants graces my body. my dream car used to be a mini cooper or grand wagoneer, and now it's a honda odyssey. i  get excited over things like ruby making it into the "clean your plate club", and my favorite "perfume" is pink johnson & johnson baby lotion. i spend most days inside my house cooking and cleaning in an overlapping round, and date nights are few and far between and usually end before 8 pm. it doesn't phase me anymore to say things like "yes you have to wear pants outside" "no you can't have a waffle for lunch and dinner too" and "stop wiping your boogers everywhere". i have every cartoon channel memorized, and watching "ellen" is sometimes my only adult "interaction" during the day. 

this is not a glamorous life, but it's a glorious one.

it's a life that i know for certain many people long for, and one some will never have. i know these people... and even if i haven't met them, i know they're out there. women who would long to have a baby cry for milk only they can offer; even if it happened so many times a day that it started to get exhausting. women who hope for the day when they have a husband; even if having him included bickering now and then and cooking him dinner at 10 at night when they're dog tired. ladies who'd give anything to add "mom" to the list of things they're called.. who wish they could know for certain that that would happen for them. people who'd be over the moon to own the house that i often begrudge having to keep tidy, and who wish for the clothes i grumble about having to wash, fold, and put away. families who would enjoy every bite of the food that i tire of having to shop for, unpack, and cook day in and day out. 

this is not a glamorous life, but it's one that i'm so blessed to have. 

and, frankly, if i can't remember that often enough to be overwhelming thankful for it, then i pray that He'd do something now and then to shake me back into the reality of all i've been given. that's kind of a scary thought to have, but one that i do always hope is in me somewhere. 

this is not a glamorous life, but it's one that i don't want to take for granted.

give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus

for you.

1 thessalonians 5:18