the hubs..

i married a great man. i feel like it's almost unnecessary to say that marriage is hard.. i think my favorite way to describe it is that it's "no joke". it's easy for me to be cynical or realistic to an extreme when i talk and think about marriage, but even in the midst of that, i am thankful that God has put a desire in me to be someone who wants to display and reveal the trueness of what marriage can be. it's not a walk in the park. it's not always easy and comfortable.. two people staring googley-eyed at one another for years on end taking everything in stride and always agreeing on decisions. it's not always passion-filled and "i love the idea of growing old with you". sometimes it's rock bottom hard. sometimes it's "you make me more angry than i ever thought i could be and i don't understand you one bit". sometimes it's crying and praying and not knowing how to see past the argument to the hope of the future. at least that's the "sometimes" that we've had over the past two plus years.. but but but it is joy. and it is a choice.. there is a decision and a commitment to remain. marriage, for me, draws out my imperfections and begs me to be a more patient and selfless version of myself. it pulls at the parts of me deep inside that i want to deny.. the feelings that it's inevitable that daniel will eventually just become another person who will abandon me.. and because of that twisted belief i push and push instead of trusting in the commitment he's made. marriage is big.. it's for real.. it is, in a lot of ways, nothing like what you imagine [at least it wasn't for me]. i often wish that more people were honest about the grittiness that marriage can have, as well as the victory that comes with overcoming a miscommunication, trial, or big decision. it's so refreshing to know we're not alone.

i'm thankful for this man..

for the words that he's written, and the best that he brings out in me. i pray that someday my sweet girl finds someone to have and to hold as worthy as her daddy.