THE MOMENTS

i feel like i literally need to dust off this ole blog to put some words here again. we have done more than a lap around the sun since i last put some thoughts to cyber paper, but it's quiet in our apartment so, of course, that means my mind is loud. today was one of those days that was full of the normal highs and lows that come with homemakership (you're welcome for adding that word to your repertoire). here's a glimpse into my stream of consciousness that i offered for my instapeeps this evening.. 

"they are so sweet we're having the best night omg why won't they stop fighting I can't wait for them to go to bed aw they are doing so well playing together they're so funny what in the world are they yelling about now..."

luckily, this day actually included some of those sweeter, fonder thoughts because, honestly, many days do not. many days these girls wear me thin and raw and bring out the literal worst in their mama. i love them more than anything while simultaneously wanting to pull my hair our from frustration and sheer exhaustion. but those taxing moments turn into tender ones and by and by we always end up at bedtime and then the morning brings new mercies. when i melt into my pillow every night i never cease to feel grateful.. because even in the hard moments, i know that's all they are. moments. just like the good ones, they will pass and a new joy or hurtle will be around the corner. it's all fleeting; a truth that becomes more apparent by the second. so, in the midst of the crazy, i'm working to remind myself that the moments are all i have.. are all they have. these girls are with me for a moment, and even the hard ones are worth soaking up. 

F O U R.

i loved taking this video of ruby last year when she turned three and, amazingly enough, my mama brain remembered to do it again for four! (also, how is she four?)

throwback to THREE:

FOUR:


i realize on a daily basis that my girl is growing and changing, but things like this really make the strides she takes in just one short year standout like crazy. even just seeing how her answers to some of the questions were things she actually likes and not just nonsense like liking "mexican" for lunch. what a nut.

happy FOURTH, rubes. i hope you read these posts someday and see that we really did our best to cherish your little years. i'll be honest with you, some days with you are straight out of a nightmare, but then there are times when you surprise me with your sweetness. or i remember challenging things that seemed unending that you don't even struggle with anymore, and i realize that you really are growing and changing everyday. you have such a strong little spirit, and i pray very often that daddy and i would be able to steer all of that feistiness and spunk into characteristics that help you to grow into a gracious girl who is kind and strong in all the right ways. we are doing our best to tell you about the Jesus we love so much in ways that you can understand; while also allowing you to ask questions and grasp whatever you can in your tiny mind. i pray that we're doing this as genuinely and gracefully as we know how. you're a great big sister, and i think you'll have a lot to offer sadie as she grows.. let's hope that those offerings stay on the safe and loving side, for the most part.
ruby, you're a beautiful little mess, and i love figuring out life as your mama. here's to making this year even better than the last.